During the time of heartbreak, betrayal, loss, and confusion, most individuals have the same spooky question, why is God silent when I need him the most? This question is answered in a vulnerable, spiritual and lived-in way by her strong memoir writer, Macdella Acolatse. She shows that the silence of God is not an act of abandonment through her very personal story but it is usually the start of a transformation with God.
The life of Macdella is marked by various situations when she was totally lonely. She was ruined financially, homeless, embarrassed, betrayed, emotionally traumatized and some days she could hardly breathe due to the burden of grief. She begged and begged, shed tears and pleaded with God to soothe her, but she received nothing in the way of immediate responses, only silence. Rejection was felt in that silence. It felt like distance. It was as though evidence that her life had been forgotten. However, as her narrative progresses, readers are learning something deeper, that God was there, in it all, even in the silent times.
The silence of God as a sign that he is busy preparing, rather than ignoring is one of the main lessons of the book. Macdella had learned through the painful seasons that nothing is deeper than God can do than to keep silent. Life distractions come in when it is loud and this interrupts spiritual growth. But stillness leads to character, changes of outlook and a heart that was closed comes open to the guidance of God. The darkest moments made her reflect herself, heal emotionally and pray more. The silence also compelled her to go inward and deal with her fears and reconnect with God. All this seemed like abandonment but it was preparation to a greater end.
The other important lesson in the memoir is that the silence reveals what we actually think about God. Macdella confesses that when she was going through her trials, she did not believe in the love of God and the motives behind it. Yet such suspicions uncovered underlying emotional traumas, shame, fear, insecurity and a sense that she did not deserve to be assisted.
This silent state of God made these silent struggles visible in order to be healed. The book ensures that God does not shut to punish His children, He does it to make them stronger in faith and open their eyes to find out how they are in emotional prisons.
Another way Macdella demonstrates that God is silent before breakthrough is the role of his silence in preceding breakthrough. Most of her best conquests were followed by periods of desolation and disorientation. In times of breakdown of relationships, in times of downfall of her finances and when she was betrayed by people she trusted, no one heard God. But every loss had been succeeded by spiritual developments, by a new understanding, by a new blessing that she never supposed. Her account is a reminder to the readers that the silence does not imply that God stopped working, it only means He is working behind the scenes and we cannot notice at the moment.
Another aspect that is highlighted in the memoir is the fact that God is silent yet He teaches reliance. Macdella had to go to the point where she had no human option, when people have walked away, when nobody had empathized with her pain and when all human options have been exhausted and she had to rely on God wholeheartedly. This silence drove her deeper into prayer and pure worship and total submission. Those were the silent moments when she felt the presence of God the most. Her narrative makes the readers regard silence as a call to come nearer, not as a manifestation of God-like detachment.
This book reaches out to anybody who is grappling with unanswered prayers. With the help of the journey of Macdella, readers get to know that God does not leave without saying anything. It is direction, care, training, and even the push that is necessary to enter into destiny. The book brings solace to the forgotten ones and affirms them that God is nearest when He seems silent.
