Some books are written with outlines, timelines, and a clear destination in mind. 2 Weeks in the Desert With Dad is not one of them. It exists because life forced it into existence. A reluctant trip. A father nearing the end of his life. A son who agreed to go, not because it felt easy or noble, but because saying no would have followed him longer than the discomfort of saying yes.
At its core, this book is about two weeks in Sun City, Arizona. But in truth, it spans decades. It reaches back into childhood, into old resentments and inherited habits, into a Depression-era mindset that shaped a man so thoroughly that even success couldn’t free him from fear. What Tom Sauer captures is not just a visit with an aging parent, but the slow, uncomfortable collision between who our parents are and who we need them to be—especially when time is no longer generous.
The trip itself is simple on paper. Tom takes his 84-year-old father and his father’s companion to Arizona to check on a winter home that hasn’t been touched since COVID. It may be the last time his father ever sees it. That alone carries weight. But from the moment the journey begins, it becomes clear this is not a sentimental road trip. It is logistical, exhausting, emotionally charged, and often absurd.
Sauer doesn’t romanticize caregiving. Airports are stressful. Wheelchairs come with awkward silences and unspoken resentment over tips. Uber rides become symbolic battlegrounds between modern convenience and an older man’s suspicion of anything unfamiliar. Even before they reach the house, the reader understands something important: this father does not simply resist change—he distrusts it.
Once inside the Sun City home, the real story unfolds. The house itself feels frozen in time, cluttered with dust and decades-old furniture that no one has dared to replace because replacing it would mean spending money. The home is less a retirement retreat than a museum of deferred decisions. Broken systems pile up quickly: a furnace older than most modern buildings, electrical panels long past recall, a car that survives more on stubbornness than mechanics.
Each problem sparks the same reaction. Fixing things is never just about fixing them. It becomes a referendum on money, trust, and control. To Sauer’s father, every technician is a potential thief. Every repair is an attack. Every dollar spent feels like a personal loss rather than an investment in safety or comfort. The irony, which Sauer never needs to spell out, is painful and obvious: this is a man who succeeded financially and yet lives as though he never escaped poverty.
What makes the book compelling is that Sauer doesn’t present himself as a saint. He gets frustrated. He snaps internally. He chooses battles carefully and loses his temper silently just as often as he holds it together. He knows exactly where his father’s behavior comes from—an upbringing shaped by instability, an alcoholic parent, and a childhood where money disappeared as quickly as it was earned. Understanding this doesn’t make the behavior easier to live with, but it does add depth to the conflict.
The humor in the book emerges naturally, not as relief but as survival. There is something darkly funny about a car held together by improvised fixes, about arguments over tipping wheelchair attendants, about the obsessive refusal to replace dangerous systems. Sauer lets these moments breathe. He doesn’t exaggerate them. He doesn’t soften them either. The humor exists because it has to. Without it, the weight of the situation would be unbearable.
Yet beneath the practical chaos lies the deeper emotional story: a father terrified of being alone. Loneliness, not money, is the true antagonist of this book. Sauer’s father doesn’t crave companionship in the traditional sense—he simply needs another person present. Silence is unbearable. Empty rooms feel like threats. And yet, the very money that could solve this problem—through assisted living, help, or community—is the thing he refuses to use.
This contradiction is where the book becomes painfully relatable. Many adult children will recognize it instantly: parents who saved their entire lives but cannot bring themselves to spend on comfort, help, or dignity. Parents who insist on independence even as their world shrinks. Parents who fear dependence more than isolation.
Sauer doesn’t turn this into a lesson or a lecture. He simply shows what it looks like to live inside that reality for two weeks. He documents the endless conversations that circle back to the same fears. The small victories that feel enormous. The moments where patience wins—and the moments where it doesn’t.
Interwoven with the present are reflections on Sauer’s own past: a strained father-son relationship, years of emotional distance, and a household shaped by rigid expectations. His father was not cruel, but he was distant. Not abusive, but unyielding. Affection was practical, not emotional. Approval came through stability, not encouragement.
The book never pretends these wounds disappear. There is no grand reconciliation scene. What exists instead is something quieter and more honest: shared time. Forced proximity. Moments of laughter that coexist with irritation. An understanding that love doesn’t always look like warmth—it sometimes looks like endurance.
As the days pass, health concerns loom larger. Cancer, infections, and the fragile reality of an aging body become impossible to ignore. Sauer’s father is alive because of medical interventions he resents. He is frustrated by pills he doesn’t want to take and systems he believes exist only to drain his savings. Sauer watches this contradiction play out with a mix of gratitude and exhaustion.
What ultimately makes 2 Weeks in the Desert With Dad resonate is its refusal to offer easy conclusions. It does not claim that understanding heals everything. It does not suggest that love magically resolves resentment. Instead, it offers something far more valuable: recognition.
Readers caring for aging parents will see themselves in these pages. They will recognize the arguments, the financial paranoia, the loneliness, the guilt, the exhaustion, and the strange moments of connection that arrive when no one is trying to force them. Sauer gives language to experiences many people live through quietly, unsure if anyone else feels the same way.
This is not a book about fixing parents. It’s a book about showing up when fixing isn’t possible. About choosing presence over comfort. About learning that love sometimes means accepting people exactly as they are—even when who they are makes everything harder.
Two weeks pass. Life moves forward. And something shifts—not dramatically, not neatly, but enough to matter. That quiet shift is what lingers long after the final page.
